Apparently I'm the type of blogger who's not above using scandalous titles to try and entice readers. Hmm...learn something new about myself all the time.
What's not a new thing to learn about myself is my struggles with self-control, discipline, doing the thing I ought and not the thing I want. A lazy vacation morning is the perfect time to do this because what is vacation if not the time when you ignore all the good intentions you set for yourself in regular life (and, ahem, pretend you're actually going to follow while on vacation) - I'm looking at you eating habits, exercise, and budget...and shopping dare.
I did it. I shopped. It started out so simply. I went to a Gap to pick up some underwear. This was only the THIRD TIME I'd been inside a clothing store in 2012. I went to American Eagle to get a birthday gift for my sis in January. I went to Kohl's with a friend. And then, no stores (other than 1 or 2 consignment stores where I realized it was REALLY hard to find things to wear) until this Gap in early May. Apparently, Gap is my gateway drug.
If you're wondering why I'm freaking out about something that seems like a nice normal thing then check out this post where I dared myself to only shop consignment or thrift for the entirety of 2012. Since I was just picking up underthings at Gap that was legit. Shoes and pajamas and scarves are a grey area that really just means I'll kind of try not to buy, but if I really just need to buy something, then those are things I'll let myself get away with.
Anyway, as I wandered through Gap and looked at $36 pajamas to see if it was something I could get away with buying I realized that there was some deeper stuff going on. Was I just looking for excuses to buy stuff? Why did I feel this compulsion to shop? I hurried out of the shop and dashed out of the mall. However, this project has gone from a let's see if I can do this dare and save some money and maybe attach it somehow to taking a stand against slave labor to introspection about what's really motivating me when I think about shopping and spending money.
Things I've realized (don't worry, we'll get to how I cheated soon).
1. I want new things. ESPECIALLY because it's a new season and other people have new things. I've become like the most observant person ever when it comes to coworkers new spring clothing items. Is that new? So cute! Love it! As I stand there in my PERFECTLY FINE tops from last year, I look at the new colors and styles and variety and choice and I want so very much to have some of that for my own. What drives this need to have new things? Seriously, that's a legit question. I don't have an answer. Because as much I chant my "Make do and mend" mantra to myself, I still really, really want a new splash of color or two.
2. So since shopping at all wasn't off the table (just a lot harder since I had to find a thrift/consignment store) I headed out to Plato's Closet to see if I could pick up a couple of fun new things for vacation. Plato's Closet had worked in the past when I'd needed to pick up a few things before trip. Usually those trips were to random, possibly remote, parts of Asia and I didn't particularly care if the clothes came home in one piece which was why I was in a thrift store in the first place. Anyway, I was in Plato's Closet and even though I didn't love the stuff I was getting, it was stuff and it was something new and it was cheap. However, I dropped $20 on 3 tops and a skirt I wasn't totally in love with. Am I missing the point with this exercise if I buy stuff that I don't really love on consignment if I could have a spent a couple of bucks more on stuff I like on sale at a regular store? Things like that kept popping through my head as I was in the store.
The store, of course, was located in a strip mall that included a Ross and a Marshall's. "Hmmm"...my totally-skilled-at-rationalizing-anything brain went. "I could just pop in and see what they have." "Aren't these stores kind of like consignment for department stores?" "It's not like I'm walking into Loft or Banana Republic." "I may not even buy anything, it's just looking." Dude, isn't this how all cheating starts, a little slipping, a little rationalization, a little just this one time because it's vacation?
Anyway, I went in and looked. And looked and looked and looked. Until I found something I wanted. Because at this point I was pretty committed to the fact that I was going to break my rule (although, is it really cheating because it's only Marshalls, right?). And then I did find a skirt I love. A long swirly skirt (that fit!) and was perfect for a California coastal vacation. And a shirt. A cute, cute top that I could wear for fun or work and was so much nicer than the ones I'd just picked up at the thrift store. So I gulped. And grabbed them. And headed straight for the register (after looking everywhere for a white shirt to match the new skirt - including the store next door).
And I love them so very, very much. Well, I've only worn the skirt so far, but it's fantastic. And now my new clothes and I are off to a winery followed by warm shell (the beach version of hot stone) massages and maybe s'mores in the fireplace to finish the day off.
And tomorrow or next week or next month, whenever the shopping buy bites again, maybe I'll get closer to answering a few more of those questions and finding out a little bit more about what makes me tick. Because for right now, I'm not shopping again (unless I find a white shirt for my skirt). At least, I'm not shopping until the next time I start making rationalizations.
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| why hello lovely view of the coast out of my hotel window |
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| Other things I'm cheating with - Chocolate Cake with Cream Cheese Frosting and Warm S'mores Pie - thank goodness for friends to share desserts with! |
I did it. I shopped. It started out so simply. I went to a Gap to pick up some underwear. This was only the THIRD TIME I'd been inside a clothing store in 2012. I went to American Eagle to get a birthday gift for my sis in January. I went to Kohl's with a friend. And then, no stores (other than 1 or 2 consignment stores where I realized it was REALLY hard to find things to wear) until this Gap in early May. Apparently, Gap is my gateway drug.
If you're wondering why I'm freaking out about something that seems like a nice normal thing then check out this post where I dared myself to only shop consignment or thrift for the entirety of 2012. Since I was just picking up underthings at Gap that was legit. Shoes and pajamas and scarves are a grey area that really just means I'll kind of try not to buy, but if I really just need to buy something, then those are things I'll let myself get away with.
Anyway, as I wandered through Gap and looked at $36 pajamas to see if it was something I could get away with buying I realized that there was some deeper stuff going on. Was I just looking for excuses to buy stuff? Why did I feel this compulsion to shop? I hurried out of the shop and dashed out of the mall. However, this project has gone from a let's see if I can do this dare and save some money and maybe attach it somehow to taking a stand against slave labor to introspection about what's really motivating me when I think about shopping and spending money.
Things I've realized (don't worry, we'll get to how I cheated soon).
1. I want new things. ESPECIALLY because it's a new season and other people have new things. I've become like the most observant person ever when it comes to coworkers new spring clothing items. Is that new? So cute! Love it! As I stand there in my PERFECTLY FINE tops from last year, I look at the new colors and styles and variety and choice and I want so very much to have some of that for my own. What drives this need to have new things? Seriously, that's a legit question. I don't have an answer. Because as much I chant my "Make do and mend" mantra to myself, I still really, really want a new splash of color or two.
2. So since shopping at all wasn't off the table (just a lot harder since I had to find a thrift/consignment store) I headed out to Plato's Closet to see if I could pick up a couple of fun new things for vacation. Plato's Closet had worked in the past when I'd needed to pick up a few things before trip. Usually those trips were to random, possibly remote, parts of Asia and I didn't particularly care if the clothes came home in one piece which was why I was in a thrift store in the first place. Anyway, I was in Plato's Closet and even though I didn't love the stuff I was getting, it was stuff and it was something new and it was cheap. However, I dropped $20 on 3 tops and a skirt I wasn't totally in love with. Am I missing the point with this exercise if I buy stuff that I don't really love on consignment if I could have a spent a couple of bucks more on stuff I like on sale at a regular store? Things like that kept popping through my head as I was in the store.
The store, of course, was located in a strip mall that included a Ross and a Marshall's. "Hmmm"...my totally-skilled-at-rationalizing-anything brain went. "I could just pop in and see what they have." "Aren't these stores kind of like consignment for department stores?" "It's not like I'm walking into Loft or Banana Republic." "I may not even buy anything, it's just looking." Dude, isn't this how all cheating starts, a little slipping, a little rationalization, a little just this one time because it's vacation?
Anyway, I went in and looked. And looked and looked and looked. Until I found something I wanted. Because at this point I was pretty committed to the fact that I was going to break my rule (although, is it really cheating because it's only Marshalls, right?). And then I did find a skirt I love. A long swirly skirt (that fit!) and was perfect for a California coastal vacation. And a shirt. A cute, cute top that I could wear for fun or work and was so much nicer than the ones I'd just picked up at the thrift store. So I gulped. And grabbed them. And headed straight for the register (after looking everywhere for a white shirt to match the new skirt - including the store next door).
And I love them so very, very much. Well, I've only worn the skirt so far, but it's fantastic. And now my new clothes and I are off to a winery followed by warm shell (the beach version of hot stone) massages and maybe s'mores in the fireplace to finish the day off.
And tomorrow or next week or next month, whenever the shopping buy bites again, maybe I'll get closer to answering a few more of those questions and finding out a little bit more about what makes me tick. Because for right now, I'm not shopping again (unless I find a white shirt for my skirt). At least, I'm not shopping until the next time I start making rationalizations.
