I've been told (more than once) that my life resembles a sitcom. Here's the story of a previous episode that's just now making it up on the blog.
1. Realize you've been playing the hidden objects game on the ipad too long and you now have exactly one hour to get from sweaty post-gym to dinner and a movie.
2. Go to pull date outfit out of closet (or off desk chair). Realize the shirt you planned to wear is dirty. Realize back-up shirt for that outfit is also dirty.
3. Madly sort through laundry and pull out whites to do quick load because surely an hour is enough time to wash and dry a small load. Right?
4. Jump in shower while washing machine starts. Decide it's too hot for blow-dryer/curling iron and it's going to be a curly hair night. Do curly hair prep shower routine (no shampoo, lots of conditioner, scrunch dry with old T-shirt).
5. Freak out because washing machine is still going. Frantically search for Plan B outfit. Decide you hate all of your clothes except for the shirt in the washing machine.
6. Start on hair. Curls are not behaving. Abort hair plan. Switch course to straight hair.
7. Run downstairs to turn AC down three more degrees.
8. Pull shirt out of washing machine mid-spin cycle and throw in dryer.
9. Angle box fan over floor vent and point directly towards self while blowing hair dry.
10. Check shirt in dryer.
11. Start sectioning off hair for curling iron. Realize not shampooing your hair is a REALLY bad idea if you actually need to touch your hair at any point. Head is one giant grease ball. No going back. Also, coincidentally, no need for additional hair product as extra grease is filling that role quite well.
12. Wash hands A LOT.
13. Check dryer.
14. Hair actually looks awesome.
15. Sit on exercise ball in skirt, sandals, jewelry and make-up (and no shirt) in front of box fan reading book on introversion while trying not to freak out because the sentence you just read says introverts are more likely to get nervous before dates. Not helpful.
16. Check dryer approximately 17 more times. Wonder if dryer is like crock pot and you lose 30 minutes worth of heat every time you open it.
17. Check dryer again.
18. Pace. Because that helps.
19. Hear doorbell ring. Jump up. Grab still damp shirt out of dryer. Frantically glance back to room in case the perfect (dry and clean) outfit has magically appeared laid out on the bed.
20. Pull on damp shirt.
21. Take off damp shirt that's inside out and put on the right way. Door bell rings again. Idly wonder how transparent still damp white shirt is. Whatever, the damp part is in the back.
22. Running downstairs to open door realize there's an awesome stain right in the middle of your chest. Where the *$%! did that come from?
23. Commit to spend evening with hands clasped at chest level.
24. Open the door and go have a great night!
Totally not based on real events.
1. Realize you've been playing the hidden objects game on the ipad too long and you now have exactly one hour to get from sweaty post-gym to dinner and a movie.
2. Go to pull date outfit out of closet (or off desk chair). Realize the shirt you planned to wear is dirty. Realize back-up shirt for that outfit is also dirty.
3. Madly sort through laundry and pull out whites to do quick load because surely an hour is enough time to wash and dry a small load. Right?
4. Jump in shower while washing machine starts. Decide it's too hot for blow-dryer/curling iron and it's going to be a curly hair night. Do curly hair prep shower routine (no shampoo, lots of conditioner, scrunch dry with old T-shirt).
5. Freak out because washing machine is still going. Frantically search for Plan B outfit. Decide you hate all of your clothes except for the shirt in the washing machine.
6. Start on hair. Curls are not behaving. Abort hair plan. Switch course to straight hair.
7. Run downstairs to turn AC down three more degrees.
8. Pull shirt out of washing machine mid-spin cycle and throw in dryer.
9. Angle box fan over floor vent and point directly towards self while blowing hair dry.
10. Check shirt in dryer.
11. Start sectioning off hair for curling iron. Realize not shampooing your hair is a REALLY bad idea if you actually need to touch your hair at any point. Head is one giant grease ball. No going back. Also, coincidentally, no need for additional hair product as extra grease is filling that role quite well.
12. Wash hands A LOT.
13. Check dryer.
14. Hair actually looks awesome.
15. Sit on exercise ball in skirt, sandals, jewelry and make-up (and no shirt) in front of box fan reading book on introversion while trying not to freak out because the sentence you just read says introverts are more likely to get nervous before dates. Not helpful.
16. Check dryer approximately 17 more times. Wonder if dryer is like crock pot and you lose 30 minutes worth of heat every time you open it.
17. Check dryer again.
18. Pace. Because that helps.
19. Hear doorbell ring. Jump up. Grab still damp shirt out of dryer. Frantically glance back to room in case the perfect (dry and clean) outfit has magically appeared laid out on the bed.
20. Pull on damp shirt.
21. Take off damp shirt that's inside out and put on the right way. Door bell rings again. Idly wonder how transparent still damp white shirt is. Whatever, the damp part is in the back.
22. Running downstairs to open door realize there's an awesome stain right in the middle of your chest. Where the *$%! did that come from?
23. Commit to spend evening with hands clasped at chest level.
24. Open the door and go have a great night!
Totally not based on real events.
